Living A Different Lifestyle

Romans 12:2 says, "Be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your minds." Many believers have heard this verse preached on numerous occasions. Probably more than they can remember. Does this mean we are anti world? I know I John 2 tells not to love the world. But does this mean we are against the world? I think not. John 3:16 which many believers quote says that God loves the world. If we look at the Romans verse in context we are to lay down our lives - die to self - not let the world so influence us that we adopt the world's values. We then are to have a renewing - a changing of our minds
So, how am I to understand Romans 12:2. We are to live differently to demonstrate the mercies of God. The problem I see for many of us who are said to be followers of Jesus, those going the way of Jesus are actually not doing so. Instead we have been conformed to this world's values. We think like the world and do exactly as the world. How is this done? By our judging those who do not believe or follow Jesus. Who made us judge! Jesus is the judge. By our hating of other people groups and religion. The world does this. Was this not what Jesus was teaching against in the Good Samaritan or the Woman at the Well?
We are to disciple people toward Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to work in their lives. We are not the Holy Spirit. We disciple by demonstrating His grace, His goodness, His glory, and His greatness.